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Checking your partner's phone, reading their text messages and phone log?

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peonymakeup
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Thu Aug 29, 2019 1:34 pm

I had an interesting conversation with a college who announced that she checks and reads her partner's phone messages and call log. I was totally speechless thinking "who does this?" "Do you not trust your partner?" "How do you get to this point in a relationship?" Does a relationship start like this or does it develop over time? I would like to know. Would you put up with this?


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Thu Aug 29, 2019 1:59 pm

peonymakeup wrote:
Thu Aug 29, 2019 1:34 pm
I had an interesting conversation with a college who announced that she checks and reads her partner's phone messages and call log. I was totally speechless thinking "who does this?" "Do you not trust your partner?" "How do you get to this point in a relationship?" Does a relationship start like this or does it develop over time? I would like to know. Would you put up with this?
Typically a paranoid phone-checking partner has done wrong themselves, hence believing their partner has done the same.

Without trust and freedom a relationship will not last.


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peonymakeup
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Thu Aug 29, 2019 2:22 pm

datsgucci wrote:
Thu Aug 29, 2019 1:59 pm
peonymakeup wrote:
Thu Aug 29, 2019 1:34 pm
I had an interesting conversation with a college who announced that she checks and reads her partner's phone messages and call log. I was totally speechless thinking "who does this?" "Do you not trust your partner?" "How do you get to this point in a relationship?" Does a relationship start like this or does it develop over time? I would like to know. Would you put up with this?
Typically a paranoid phone-checking partner has done wrong themselves, hence believing their partner has done the same.

Without trust and freedom a relationship will not last.
My thoughts actually, she does have a controlling personality, tells her partner what to do in every aspect. Picks on him a bit with a load of passive aggressive put downs. "Why do you what to do that for?", "Where is that going to get you?" Always making reference to his appearance in a negative way. He is just a shell of a man. I believe you need to respect, trust, support and encourage your partner in their endeavors, give them personal space they require. Life is too short for this bs.


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Thu Aug 29, 2019 2:30 pm

peonymakeup wrote:
Thu Aug 29, 2019 2:22 pm
datsgucci wrote:
Thu Aug 29, 2019 1:59 pm
peonymakeup wrote:
Thu Aug 29, 2019 1:34 pm
I had an interesting conversation with a college who announced that she checks and reads her partner's phone messages and call log. I was totally speechless thinking "who does this?" "Do you not trust your partner?" "How do you get to this point in a relationship?" Does a relationship start like this or does it develop over time? I would like to know. Would you put up with this?
Typically a paranoid phone-checking partner has done wrong themselves, hence believing their partner has done the same.

Without trust and freedom a relationship will not last.
My thoughts actually, she does have a controlling personality, tells her partner what to do in every aspect. Picks on him a bit with a load of passive aggressive put downs. "Why do you what to do that for?", "Where is that going to get you?" Always making reference to his appearance in a negative way. He is just a shell of a man. I believe you need to respect, trust, support and encourage your partner in their endeavors, give them personal space they require. Life is too short for this bs.
I've observed this relationship type before. The woman continually erodes at the man until he's entirely downtrodden, unable to view himself accurately and eventually - and permanently - enters a submissive state of mind. All is left is an instruction-following vessel of a being who has no interests bar hers and cannot move an inch of a foot without interrogation and suspicion. As time wears on, it worsens.


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peonymakeup
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Thu Aug 29, 2019 2:50 pm

Furthermore she excessively drinks and excludes him from her professional friends on night outs. Doesn't support his career. Apparently her career is more important that his. What the hell!? This is not normal.


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Thu Aug 29, 2019 3:04 pm

peonymakeup wrote:
Thu Aug 29, 2019 2:50 pm
Furthermore she excessively drinks and excludes him from her professional friends on night outs. Doesn't support his career. Apparently her career is more important that his. What the hell!? This is not normal.
Career comparisons and professional exclusion is another method to belittle and degrade. It's not normal to treat someone as second-rate. What makes her life and career more important than his?


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Fri Aug 30, 2019 6:32 am

Checking the guys phone is so wrong & controlling. I’d run lol


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Topic author Australia
peonymakeup
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Sat Aug 31, 2019 9:47 am

AlexMakeup wrote:
Fri Aug 30, 2019 6:32 am
Checking the guys phone is so wrong & controlling. I’d run lol
You hear a lot about controlling males but I think there is a silent epidemic of woman who are no better.


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